Normally I don't watch daytime television, but the old adages "when in Rome" (and more importantly) "the mob rules" are true. I can't tell you how my soul barked with joy when I discovered that Jerry Springer, Steve Wilkos and Maury Povich are all still gainfully employed and beaming wholesome family entertainment into the world's living rooms five days a week!
SPOILER ALERT! For the two or three of you out there who've never been exposed to these quality shows, here's a small sample of what you've been missing: Paternity Tests, Lie Detector Tests, More Paternity and Lie-Detector Tests, Cat-Fighting (Ladies, why do you spend so much time pre-show primping when you know that within minutes of hitting that stage your wig, false eyelashes and dignity will be stripped from your body and tossed willy-nilly into the studio mosh-pit?) Man-Brawling, Man/Woman Tussling, Woman/Woman Fisticuffs, Guest/Bouncer Wrangling, Slander, Defamation of Character and Gender, Mud-Wrestling, Endless Accusations of Infidelity and Cross-Dressing, Pole-Dancing, Screeching, Shouting, Howling, Spitting, Hair-Pulling, Eye-Gouging, Nugget-Punching, Butt-Whupping, Chair and Couch Humping, Little People Tossing, Breast and Crotch Pixilation, Intentional and Unintentional Wardrobe Malfunctions, Every Conceivable Form of Degradation and then some not yet Conceived, Public and Pubic Displays of Affection and Other Heartfelt Confessions of True Love. God Bless America!!
To sweeten the already overflowing pot, all three of these shows are shown in our area back to back. And if that weren't enough goodness, they are broadcast again in the same order as soon as the first loop ends! The movie "Groundhog Day" has never seemed more prophetic. With this level of programming, how could I ever bitch about my exorbitant cable bill?
On an unrelated, but infinitely more entertaining note: Steve Harvey is officially the hardest working man in show business. Is there ANY show that he won't host?